When everything feels big

(Llalyque/Pixabay)

Not like that! Get your mind out of the gutter!

I went today and got my eyebrows waxed for the first time. Are they exactly what I want them to be? No. But, I was an anxiety riddled mess the entire time.

The best part was the lady doing it was completely accepting, as if a trans woman having to exist in boy mode was a completely okay thing.

In the grand scheme of things, getting my brows done is not that big of a deal. However, to me, it was a huge step toward me goal of being able to just exist.

And it's exactly what I needed this week.

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'Taxation Without Representation': The death of the United States

Angela Weiss/AFP via Getty Images I'm a student of history. As a young woman in school, history was always the one class - with the exception of art and computer sciences - that I typically excelled at. One of the primary grievances the American Colonists had with England in the lead-up to the American Revolution was that they had no representation in the British government. Instead, they were ruled by a monarch half a world away. As I continue to digest everything that happened yesterday in Washington, D.C., I'm reminded of those words and how the colonists in the 1700's felt they were not represented by the government under which they lived. There are many things - if not outright all of them - that I strongly disagree with from yesterday, but I'm going to try (and fail) to focus on just one. In an email delivered to the White House press pool yesterday just prior to Mr. Trump taking the oath of office, this was at the bottom of a long list of "Day One" prio...

Sobbing rant I am not okay...

( Eleatell/Pixabay) I understand that as I write this, there is no one that actually reads this blog. However, to anyone who may go back through what I suspect will be many, many posts and find this, I give this warning: This is going to be a sobbing, all-over-the-place, possibly incoherent mess. I. AM. NOT. OKAY. I have had to be in boy mode for 8 days and counting. And my soul feels like it's on fire! And not just that, there are other things going on that do not fit the purpose of what I want this blog/site to be, so I'll not comment on that. I went to ProSouth Wrestling LAST Friday, and that was the last time I was able to feel and look like myself. That was the last time I was able to comfortably look at a mirror. That night was nothing short of a sleep-deprived, magical experience. So validating and amazing. I heard MY name dropped SO MANY times. I got to play dress up, gendered properly, named properly, all the things. It was so amazing! And since then, it's been no...

'We could twin!': The best reaction I could've every hoped for

Ya know, I kind of suck at keeping a blog. Going to make it a point to do at least one per week going forward, a lofty goal for my OCD self.... So I guess some update: The kids now know... and are so supportive!!!! The youngest has known for a long while. She needed to as she was struggling with her own very young identity. The middle one - I trusted his mom's judgement. And then there's the oldest, the one that scared me the absolute most. I once wrote that I believed she was outright anti-trans. And maybe at that time she was. She is a devout Christian, growing daily in her faith and her relationship with God. And while I'm unbelievably supportive of her developing and flourishing that relationship, I can't say it didn't worry me. Christians and LGBT people don't typically mix. "I'm going to ask you a very simple question, and you can answer just 'yes' or 'no.,'" "Okay." "Do you know and just don't know what or...

According To Ashlee

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